Don't mess with the old :)

haha fyfan va surt! stskars..

för att göra histroain ännu värre som har exakt samma polis stoppat mammsen innan på exakt samma plats.. snacka om lättflörtad

haha, fyfan va skön! ;D

hehe tre riktigt sköna historier.. finns ingen vits med att sluta när man har som roligaste.
fortsätt Canadicken !

A truck driver was driving along on the freeway. A sign comes up that reads, "Low Bridge Ahead." Before he knows it,the bridge is right ahead of him and he gets stuck under the bridge. Cars are backed up for miles. Finally, a police car comes up. The cop gets out of his car and walks to the truck driver, puts his hands on his hips and says, "Got stuck, huh?" The truck driver says, "No, I was delivering this bridge and ran out of gas."

haha den var bäst

haha en kortis :)

What do Musicans do when they die?






Decompose

I got a phone call from a gorgeous ex-girlfriend the other day. We
Lost track of time, chatting about the wild, romantic nights we used to
Enjoy together. I couldn't believe it when she asked if I'd be nterested in meeting up and rekindling a little of that "magic."

Wow!" I said. "I don't know if I could keep pace with you now. I'm a
Bit older and a bit grayer than when you last saw me!"

She just giggled and said she was sure I'd rise to the challenge.
"Yeah" I said, "just so long as you don't mind a man with a waistline
that's a few inches wider these days!"

She laughed and told me to stop being so silly. She teased me, saying that tubby gray haired men were cute, and she was sure I would still be a Great lover. Anyway," she giggled, "I've put on a few pounds myself!" So I told her to fuck off.
__________________


haha inte top quality men ändå :)

One evening last week, my girlfriend and I were getting into bed.
Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says, "I don't feel like it, I just want you to hold me."
I said, "WHAT??!! What was that?!"
So she says the words that every boyfriend on the planet dreads to hear...
"You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man."
She responded to my puzzled look by saying, "Can't you just love me for who I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?"

Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to sleep.
The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time with her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, big unnamed department store. I walked around with her while she tried on several different very expensive outfits She couldn't decide which one to take, so I told her we'd just buy them all. She wanted new shoes to compliment her new clothes, so I said, "Lets get a pair for each outfit."

We went on to the jewellery department where she picked out a pair of diamond earrings. Let me tell you... she was so excited. She must have thought I was one wave short of a shipwreck. I started to think she was testing me because she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn't even know how to play tennis.

I think I threw her for a loop when I said, "That's fine, honey." She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement. Smiling with excited anticipation, she finally said, "I think this is all dear, let's go to the cashier."

I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, "No honey, I don't feel like it."
Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled, "WHAT?"
I then said, "Honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while. You're just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman."

And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me, I added, "Why can't you just love me for who I am and not for the things I buy you?"

Apparently I'm not having sex tonight either..........

Upp, sköna skämt.


SegiRoten
Det var menat som ett torrt skämt att sucka till. Men tack för att du hjälpte till att göra den megatorr. Prislöst att du fick ta all skit också.



Three guys stayed at a skiing lodge, but there was only one room with one bed so they shared it.

During the night the guy on the left wakes up saying he had a dream where he got a hand job.

Incredulously the guy on the right says that he also had a dream where he got a hand job.

The guy in the middle says he dreamed he was skiing.

hahaha

This Indian boy goes to his mother one day with a puzzled look on his face.

"Say, mom, why is my bigger brother named "Mighty Storm"?

"Because he was conceived during a mighty storm."

"Why is my sister named "Cornflower"?

"Well, your father and I were in a cornfield, when we made her."

"And why is my other sister called "Moonchild"?

"We were watching the moon landing while she was conceived. Tell me, Torn Rubber, why are you so curious?"

canadicken ,,,, hahahahahahahahahaha den sista var tvär roligt =)=) big upps

mmm den e bra =)