Komik- Killin' Emcees!

The only bloodbrothers you have is African Aids patients-
-Haha, word på den.

Cuz I push more buttons than cripples with speechproblems-
-Speech inpediment heter det?

all of them am I better than-
-Omformulera eller dö ;D

Cuz I make you start shakin’ as if you had Ahlzeimers-
-Say whut?


Jodå, du har många bra idéer men lägg ned fem minuter på varje punchie så den får en riktig klang.


In och kommentera folks trådar nu. Sista commenten du får av mig innan jag ser dig i masssa andra trådar.

Hwarang sliter ordet från tungan och trycker det på internet.
Synd att han var före mig.

A visit by God, you asked questions & lost faith in answers-
Mc’s show up with big balls & leaves with prostate cancer-
-Rolig där

So stop goin’ against me, start movin clockwize instead-
Time’s over, take your chance cuz otherwise.. your dead.
-Här med.


Du har mycket finnurlighet inne i din trånga skalle. Det glädjer mig.
(undra inte när jag ska göra en Lång och utformad kommentar)

Tack Hwarang och Fegon_ !

Jodå, intressant men ack så ojämnt. Vissa rader är fräscha och feta, andra sämre. Det enda tips jag kan ge till dig vore väl att försöka läsa din text innan du postar den och kolla om du kan ta bort ngn rad utan att helhetsintrycket störs. Kan du ta bort en sämre rad så gör det. På så sätt har du alltid bara maaad feta rader kvar.

Helt okej,

//GAIA

haha..nice , många p-lines, nice :) detta gillas

People throw their hands up more than a spasmic retard
lol :)


The only bloodbrothers you have is African Aids patients-
oxo rolig :)


skönt med p-line texter, vissa rader var bättre andra sämre...men allt som allt - nice work! :)

eoo Komik du är töööng ;)

Aight....yo buddy, I´ve read your li´l verse, and It was somewhat decent..

Seems like you try a li´l harder than most headz on here,
(and , I´m strictly referring to the ones rhymin in english).

Now you appear to have figured out the golden rule of rhymin, especially, and particularly when it comes to battles,
YOU GOTTA HAVE PUNCHLINES!!!

Tryina battle without GOOD punchlines, is as pointless as tryina stick a wet noodle up a wild cat´s ass..

Ya smell me? However, Comik, I´mma give you some li´l propers, an E for effort and a T for nice try.

But you do have to work on your wording, spelling, as well as your set-ups for you punchlines.
Also at times I can see where you´re trying to go with your metaphores/ punchlines, but, often they´re a li´l (or VERY),
far fetched, or not very well phrased.

See, often a few more words, or less words-makes all the difference between a decent, tight verse.
and a sloppy, wack verse. And, ´course ya gotta have yourself a decent/good flowcabulary.

I won´t get too much into detail here..

But I´ll give you a few examples on how your verse could be improoved with some simple changes and a little re phrasing.

1. "I take more breath away than asthmatics with weak hearts.."

I would have phrased it like this: I´m more breath taking than asthma, so phucc ya weak hearts!... asthmatics have difficulties inhaling, and so the way you phrased it isn´t that on point.

2. "People throw their hands up more than a spasmic retard.."
I think I understand where you were goin with this one, but a person suffering from spasms, is called: a spastic.

So I would have put it like this: People throw their hands up, like spastic retards.. it´s more on point and more well phrased,
and thus delivers an actual on-point metaphore, that make sense and is more easily understood. Becouse you do want headz to get your lines-don´t you?

And for those that don´t know, THIS particular line isn´t a punchline,but a metaphor.
Eventhough a line can also be metaphorical as well as having a punch.

3rd example: "I get more head than Tourette´s syndrome"
Huh? I´m not sure what you mean with this one.

If this line is referring to the way a person with Tourette´s syndrome have this involuntary shaking of the limbs, and the trembles, well, that´s a little off, far fetched,  if you´re trying to use it as a metaphor for getting a lotta head..
Was that what you intended with that line?

I might have said something like: I get more head than the Easter islands! Now if you can figure that one out-don´t bite it, that´s mine..lol.

Anywayz, just some examples for ya..
Hope it´ll help you to improove your rhyming and the way you structure your verses..

Stay up and keep at it!
Bazookahjoe.

GONE.