Perspective & App - This is that face down on the floor, ski mask shit

& ni klagar på andra? Detta va bara hahahahaha


Vad är det ni brukar säga? att inget hänger ihop, bara rim här & där, visst några bra rim hade ni. men inget hängde ihop...

nä skriv om, skriv rätt .... eller hur APP

Lite slarvfel här och där grabbar, det går inte hem. I övrigt är jag glad att jag inte var med här, hade sett jävligt underlägsen ut.

hansomknarkar, exakt vad är det som är så skrattretande med texten? Av vilken anledning skulle en text baserad på battlerader och våld behöva ha en röd tråd?

Eftersom jag vill utvecklas vill jag gärna få detaljerad kritik av en så pass smart person som du ändå är. Jag har väääldigt svårt att tro att din kommentar endast är byggd på hatet du hyser mot oss som personer, så korkad är du verkligen inte.



















(http://sv.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sarkasm)

vänta nu. låt mig få det bekräftat. är snubben som rimmar henessy på enemie och drar en liknelse om 2pac han som kallar mig efterbliven jävla sopa i sina kommentarer? fet text

1. Hård Text
2. Inga likneser värt namnet
3. Inget budskap
4. Menlöst skryt
5. Inte kul för folk med högre IQ än 75
6. Ingen fantasi, bara gammalt, hundratals liknande texter har skrivits genom whoas historia


Men annars var det den bästa texten jag läst.

Keep it up!

Aigh, ya´ll don´t deserve it, but I´m going to rate your verses below:

Perspective:

"I'm smacking hoes like Math did Doze"

VERY played line. And IF you´re going to use it, at least make it fresh by saying it differently.


"and as far as the rapping goes
Perspective got ill rhymes and a nasty flow"

This is a filler, and it´s not even clever or entertaining.

"while you faggots is lacking both
Damn righ I'm always playing with fire"
find me at your kids kindergarten, spraying my rifles"

ehhh, these lines are weak. And the kindergarden part is also PLAYED.


"We're the definition of insane and crazy
kissing dames and ladies like Lil Wayne did Baby"


Don´t know if this was soposed to be a punch,
or a simili? (which is actually what it is.)

But see, the problem here is, that you´re making a simili.
Comparing yourselves to Li´l Wayne, when he kissed Baby.

Which is a pretty GAY thing to say.

When Li´l Wayne kissed baby on the lips,
that was a GAY thing to do. That´s basically the general opinion of it.

So WHY would you guys wanna put THAT in a line? And compare yaselves to
a dude that did sum shit that was MEGA gay??

THAT right there is a self-diss. Ya´ll basically shittin on yaselves sayin shit like that..lmao.


"Throw you off a plane, without a parashoot
removing the skin of the corps just to make a pair of shoes"


The concept here is ok I guess, but the wording is WAY off.
And this could have been done SO much better. Had the wording been better.

And also, yer spelling of the word "parachute" is out there too. Unless it´s intentional
(but I don´t think it is).

Here´s an example of how you coulda made the bars harder hittin and iller:

Throw ya scary ass off a plane, without a parachute!
"It puts lotion on the skin!" Then I remove it,
And make shoes!
Phucc goosebumps! I LITERALLY get under yer skin,dudes...etc.

"Murking tracks with disturbing rap
diss us and there ain't no turning back"

*smiling* ..there ya go runnin with MY swagger. lol.

aigh, I´m glad you "peeped game". (like you was stalkin´ Jayceon Taylor).

And ya´ll are not the ONLY ones. I see some of ya´ll on here,
runnin ´round with MY swag.

It´s all gravy doe, just don´t be tryina hate on my swag, and then, turn around and try to run with it. And act like it´s yours-ya dig?


"Cuz we only have dead enemies
I've murdered more than Tupac said "Hennessy"


Better than some of your bars, a better wording coulda made it an ok bar:

We ain´t sweatin´ all the haters,
all we got is dead enemies!
I´ve murdered more times, than Tupac said the word Hennesy!


You can´t say: "I´ve murdered more than Tupac said Hennesy"
That´s simply not english, slang or otherwise. Like I usually say,
THAT´s Yoda-talk. Nonsensical.


"Equipped with guns, granades, chains and axes
we're the type that'll spray brains to ashes"

Weak bar, bad wording and phrasing is off too.

I´da said it like THIS:

Equipped with guns, grenades, chains and axes,
we tha type, that´ll spray ya brains fulla led,
then torch ya,
n´ turn ya into ashes!

It´s not on point to say: "spray your brains to ashes", the wording is off,
it WOULD be: spray your brains until they´re ashes, OR turn them into ashes-
EXCEPT. How do you shoot someone until his brains turn into ashes??

They´ll turn into sloppy joe, ragu-sauce-lookin-mush, hamburger meat etc, etc..
before they turn into, or become, "ashes".


"Then return when you lay in caskets
playing with gasoline and lighters till the graveyard catches
The smell of napalm helps me stay calm"

Again, there´s that "Yoda-talk".

Another thing that I see continously throughout your verse,
is that you either have too many words in your lines.
Making them too long, and therefore the flow is off on most of them.
Or, you don´t put enough words in there, to make it a tight solid bar (flow wise).

I mighta spit that, something like this:

We´ll return, after you burn.
When you all lay in caskets!
You used to play with ya peters, we play with gassoline,
and matches!
We did catering, feeding people botchelism batches!
Then we´d ruin their wedding night.
Settin fire to they mattress!

"but I'll cut off your arms if you spell my name wrong, bitch"

This line was out of place, it didn´t fit in the context, it screwed up the flow
and it didn´t even rhyme. Not too much else to say about it.

And here I´ll go on to rate and evaluate this other dudes verse:

App:


"Fuck your religious faith, islam, christian, sinner, saint
just slit your veins before I let the biscuit spray"


First off, that right there is blasphemous, and VERY disrespectful to God,
and the people that have these faiths.

Whether they´re Muslim or Christian.

So lines like these are a NO-NO.

They´re not "cool" or "deep" or "insightful". Only stupid and disrespectful.

And eventhough rhyming sometimes is about spittin some outlandish shit and to
shock and what-not, those lines are NOT ill, outlandish or fly.

They´re just plain dumb and offensive.



"you's an awkward cat with awful raps. listening to you?
i'd rather have my dorsum cracked in a torture rack"

Naah. This was weak. And unless you really flip it,
to rhyme with the words: cat, rap, cracked etc is quite played.


"you look like macy gray fucked nathan lane
and then tried to abort the baby with a razorblade"

NO. This doesn´t fly. Abort a baby??!

Babies aren´t aborted. Fetuses are.

And even so, "You-lool-like: so-and-so had sex with/ or fucked, so-and-so,
and then"..etc,etc, is PLAYED OUT.


"if you're playing games you'll get the ace of spades
since im known to expose slugs like rainy days"

This have been said MANY times before, almost the exact same lines, and theres many very similar ones out here.

"act rude and end up a clapped dude
cause i always bring a pound like fast food"

"bring a pound like fast food" ?? How does that make sense??

apart from that, it´s STILL played and weak.


"im on some soapbubble-shit the way im spitting rounds
if you kid around, i'll act john wayne gacy, kill a clown"


Again, I don´t see the connection. Soap bubbles resembles rounds?
And John Gacy? I sopose that works.


"so watch your face get pealed, im always staying real
underground like hades peeps in ancient greece"

First line, LAME. Second line PLAYED. And therefore, also LAME.


"and if i didn't id kill yall with clubhits like baby seals"

Oh, you gone kill a dude with "club hits"?? Yeah, THAT´S real hardcore. lol.
and fits well together with your attempts at bein´ on some ruff gangsta shit. (NOT).



"i murdered beats and murked emcees before you learned to speak"

Sounds a lot like some of the verses I been spittin on here.
´Course I would have said it better, and I HAVE.

Ya´ll cats didn´t even use the word murk until I got on here,
and got you hip to it.


"the only way something could be hurting me
is if my mind turns on me and start acting reversibly"


A stupid line that means absolutely NOTHING.
I sopose you think it´s clever, and you think that you really flipped some shit here,
but you didn´t, this was jibberish.


"fucking fag, if you ended up in court you'd plead life prison
just because you misunderstood the meaning of the penile system."

NO. This is weak too.
And you´re not makin sense out of HOW the penile system was misunderstood.

It would have been more on point to say.


You DUMB!
If you ended up in court, you´d plead life in prison!
You´d pull your pants down, and expose yerself,
cuz they said: "penile system"!

In closing, you BOTH need to get yer skills up, WAY up.

Get a better understanding of english, or stick to swedish drops.

N´ get some better concepts, and better material for yer bars.

A sidenote: It´s funny doe, I see what ya´ll are trying to do here,
only you´re NOT doin it.

And when I spit sum ILL shit. Ya´ll turn into experienced critics. (you think).
And try to hate on my drops.

But at the same time, you´re tryina clip me for my swag,
and run with my steelo.

That´s weak and pitiful.

Jag tror jag sammanfattar alla ovanstående kommentarer med ordet: Dåligt

Det konstruktiva här är att ni ska skriva bra istället.

Jag tror jag sammanfattar alla ovanstående kommentarer med ordet: Dåligt

Det konstruktiva här är att ni ska skriva bra istället.

hahaha...


nej men ärligt.. det känns som att detta är precis det ni glider runt och klagar på i forumen... bara onödigt rimspott utan innehåll...

5. Inte kul för folk med högre IQ än 75

Jag har runt 130, och visst hade den sina stunder ;)

ger man hård kritik får man värre tillbaka, eller vad säger ni app & jeppe? hehe

Som sagt är det mkt rimspottande, bra rimspottande. Själva liknelserna var kanske inte alltid att hurra över. Den var skön att läsa iom flowet jag fick när jag läste, speciellt i apps text som rimmade galet.

Tyvärr var det inte jättemkt mer än bra rim, ganska intetsägande och man saknade riktigt roliga punchlines. Men still, kan inte säga annat än skön läsning.

(Har som vanligt inte mkt koll på vad som är playat iom att jag är relativt ny här, därför kan jag inte uttala mig om just det.)

nej men ärligt.. det känns som att detta är precis det ni glider runt och klagar på i forumen...

Kan faktiskt förstå vad chaos syftar på till viss mängd...

Jag håller helt med om att det inte är något innehåll värt att nämna,
vilket det sällan är när det kommer till simplelt våld/skryt, vill man skriva med substans måste man ha ett mer specifierat ämne.


Däremot vågar jag påstå att det är åtminstonde en liknelse som är riktigt bra,
men överlag är det mycket sämre än vad åtminstonde jag skriver på svenska då det aldrig riktigt blir samma sak när man skriver på andra/tredje-språk.



Ch1ll, skillnaden mellan kritik och ilskna utfall är inte så stor för mindre begåvade :)